Dear CalSAC Community,
Here we are again, one life altering pandemic later and so many other shifts in our world. My departure from CalSAC may not come as a surprise to you all given my attempt to leave this wonderful organization over a year ago. Like many folks, my grand ideas for how 2020 would look fell apart very quickly and suddenly. I spent much of last year grieving the loss of my grand adventure to Iceland and beyond while at the same time feeling comforted by the opportunity to continue with my CalSAC family. I will be forever grateful to all the CalSAC staff, Trainers and partners who gave me the gift of stability and familiarity in a time when everything was constantly changing. The gift allowed me the space to step back, reflect and process what was going to be my next move. My heart and body still were eager for a new adventure and yet it felt even harder to leave this loving family given all that was going on around me. It’s with the deepest gratitude and love that I share for me ultimately saying farewell to CalSAC (again) is what is best for me at this point in my life.
Last time I said farewell, I looked to rupi kaur’s poem to try to capture the impact CalSAC has had on my life and it still rings true for me at this moment.
I am leaving this organization a better version of myself than even I could have imagined possible. I tried to embrace each opportunity CalSAC gave me to be challenged, to lean into my areas of discomfort and to step into the unknown. The team created the space for me to fail fast and to know that they were with to pick me back up to try again. 6 ½ years later, I feel something I’ve never felt before - deep love and trust in myself. I leave here blooming brightly, and it’s from this place that makes me feel comforted, happy and excited for my next adventure.
rupi kaur poem from “the sun and her flowers”
I am embarking on something I never thought I would willingly do on my own - the unknown. I have no clear plan on what work is next for me. I am taking my roots and my blooming flower with me as I leave and truly trusting in myself that I will find my next path. Wherever I end up, I know it will be in service of others and continuing to engage in the fight for collective liberation. The grand adventure to Iceland will happen eventually when everything feels safer to travel internationally again. What I do know is that in addition to saying farewell to CalSAC I will be saying farewell to California.
Apartment building in Durham, North Carolina
2021 is the year of change after feeling stuck at home. It’s also a year where I want to continue to explore ways of re-imagining what’s possible for myself and for the communities I want to serve. For me, that means many things, but one of them is experiencing a new world outside of the one that is so comfortable and so familiar. My partner and I will be packing up our lives and moving across the country. We are ready for a different type of adventure and ready to see what’s possible for us in Durham, North Carolina.
To all CalSAC Trainers - thank you for all that you’ve taught me over the years. Your passion, commitment to the field and your compassion for this work are truly inspiring. I will miss all our ToTs, webinars, and phone calls as I am sure you will miss all my email reminders for missing paperwork.
To the CalSAC staff family - I feel like I can’t quite find the words to express all that I am feeling and thinking. It’s been quite the year for us as a team in so many ways. The commitment you all showed for this team and the organization through it all has shown me what it truly means to be in solidarity with others. I know this team is so special and amazing and you all will continue to find new and creative ways to support the adults in this field, including yourselves.
I hope the very best for all of you in year(s) ahead. It feels like the dim light is ahead at the end of the tunnel. I hope you all stay in touch and reach out to me if you all find yourselves in Durham. You can reach me at my email address selenalevy@gmail.com.
With deepest gratitude, love and sadness,
Selena